Here it is, Christmas of 2011. I'm sitting at home by myself while my boyfriend's at work. All I can think about is how much I miss my son and I haven't seen him in an entire year. I didn't think I would've had to feel this pain again. I thought my grandmother and aunt would finally have given up being assholes. Guess I was wrong. I don't even know why they came back into my life again when my heart was failing a 4th time. Were they afraid I was gonna die and might not see my son ever again? Have they decided since I'm fine now, they can run off again and keep my son from me? I don't know...I wish I had the answers.
Now, I'm gonna sit here and ponder all the possibilities of how I can fix this sooner than later while drinking a beer. It's gonna be an uphill battle and I don't know where to begin. Well, I kind of do, but it's gonna take a fair amount of money and a damn good argument/show in the court room. I just wish I could wrap my head around the concept of your own fucking family trying to ruin you and bring you down. Apparently some people don't know the meaning of forgiveness when you fuck up, but manage to turn your life around. I'm not a bad person and I'm not a bad mom. I would do anything for my kid...ANYTHING! All I want is to have him back with me and actually know I'm his mother.
All in all, FUCK CHRISTMAS.
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