Update for the New Year

Well, last year threw some kind of horrible things at me. A relationship ending, a miscarriage, losing 3 jobs, and losing a few places to live. Things have looked up since then after I took someone out of the friend zone and gave him a chance. He makes me very happy and I wouldn't trade him for anything or anyone in the world. I'll probably start a new blog on here for while he's gone on his deployment. I'm sure I'll be going through a lot of trials and tribulations throughout it too. Anyway...I've had a few things thrown at me towards the end of the this past year and the beginning of this year, but I'm slowly working through them and trying to pick myself back up. I've also been trying to listen to my friends when they tell me I'm a strong person. My anger level has dropped considerably which is an odd thing, but we can blame the man in my life.

Sick of Shit

I'm starting to get to the point where I'm sick of everything. My husband has managed to reduce me to nothing and I'm no longer with him. WTF?! I shouldn't be feeling like this. I also feel like my current relationship is nothing a well...probably cuz I'm the one in it. Fuck it...I can always leave and focus on myself. Might be better off that way.

Fuck Christmas

      Here it is, Christmas of 2011. I'm sitting at home by myself while my boyfriend's at work. All I can think about is how much I miss my son and I haven't seen him in an entire year. I didn't think I would've had to feel this pain again. I thought my grandmother and aunt would finally have given up being assholes. Guess I was wrong. I don't even know why they came back into my life again when my heart was failing a 4th time. Were they afraid I was gonna die and might not see my son ever again? Have they decided since I'm fine now, they can run off again and keep my son from me? I don't know...I wish I had the answers.
      Now, I'm gonna sit here and ponder all the possibilities of how I can fix this sooner than later while drinking a beer. It's gonna be an uphill battle and I don't know where to begin. Well, I kind of do, but it's gonna take a fair amount of money and a damn good argument/show in the court room. I just wish I could wrap my head around the concept of your own fucking family trying to ruin you and bring you down. Apparently some people don't know the meaning of forgiveness when you fuck up, but manage to turn your life around. I'm not a bad person and I'm not a bad mom. I would do anything for my kid...ANYTHING! All I want is to have him back with me and actually know I'm his mother.
     All in all, FUCK CHRISTMAS.

Health Problems

Since Saturday evening, everything's been all fucked up. I got a really bad migraine. This is the 3rd one in a little over 1 week's time. Last night got even worse...I started showing some stroke/mini-stroke symptoms. I's bothering me considering my cardiologist took me off my daily aspirin regimen in early-mid July. That's when all the migraines sarted with a worse than usual aura preceeding them. What makes it even worse is that I take preventative meds for my migraines, and they normally make whatever migraine I get seem like child's play. I guess now, it's time to call my cardiologist and get everything figured out.